Parents Comparing Children With Other Children

All parents out there may not know that when they compare their own children with other children around them, it can lower a child's self esteem. It can sometimes also cause rivalry between friends or siblings. Maybe the parent's intentions weren't to "hurt" the child, but to encourage them to be more like the other child. However, all children are different. They learn at different paces, they all are good at different things, they are all special in their own way.

 Let's say that your child, Steve, isn't good with academics and your co-worker's child, Brandon, always aces tests. You tell your child, "Honey, look at Brandon, you should learn from him and study more and have better grades in school just like him." To Brandon, it is a praise, on the other hand, your child might feel down and very frustrated. Yes, maybe Brandon is very good at academics. So what? Steve could be better at Brandon at sports. My point is that all children are unique in their own way. And are maybe better at other things then the child that they are compared with. Everyone has a special talent.

 Children always want to make their parents proud. And they like to hear praise. Likewise, no parent wants to be compared to another parent right? When a child tells their parent, "Look at Florence's parents, they always take her out for ice cream, why can't you be more like Florence's parents?" Of course the parent would feel pretty upset that first off, their child is comparing them, and second unappreciative for all the things they do for the child. So when you take that in account, it's the same thing with children. Kids want to be helped and loved, not compared with other children.

Although I am an only child, and have never experience comparison of a sibling, I've often heard from friends about when they get compared with their sibling. They are hurt on the inside and sometimes can't get it out of themselves to tell their parents. I personally have been compared against friends who are smarter then me. Yes, it does make me frustrated, however I've learned as I've grown up to take those comparisons and look at them in a different perspective. Look at them as more of  goals for me to reach, rather then hatred and "jealousy" that someone else is better then me. But for young children, their thoughts probably haven't progressed to my level yet.

A key advice to all parents out there, please don't compare your children/child with other children. Your child will always be your child. I'm sure that all children love and cherish their parents, just like how their parents love and cherish them. I know I love my parents and are thankful for them. Always remember, differences are what makes your child/children unique. Differences is what makes this world a better place. Embrace these differences with all your heart.

Here's another interesting article that I read recently about comparing children: http://www.examiner.com/child-care-in-atlanta/comparing-children-the-big-no-no


~My World

(photo credit to examiner.com)